


My name is Dean.

by Impalasandhunters



Series: Transgender SPN characters [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullied Dean Winchester, Bullying, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Misgendering, No Smut, Slow Burn, Trans Dean Winchester, Trans Male Character, eventual destiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-09-25 15:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9827561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impalasandhunters/pseuds/Impalasandhunters
Summary: In this story, Dean binds with Ace bandages. However, if you're a transperson who reads this and don't have a binder, don't bind with Ace bandages. Seriously, that is VERY unsafe. If you can, get a binder, if you can't afford it, look up giveaways. Stay safe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Dean binds with Ace bandages. However, if you're a transperson who reads this and don't have a binder, don't bind with Ace bandages. Seriously, that is VERY unsafe. If you can, get a binder, if you can't afford it, look up giveaways. Stay safe.

High school was usually hell. Even more hell if you didn't fit in. For Dean Winchester, that was the case. Dean got out of the motel room shower, wrapped the ace bandages tightly around his chest and shrugged on a black Metallica tshirt,paired it with a much too big flannel and jeans, only slightly torn. He looked at himself in the mirror, watched the long hair, that reached way past his shoulders. He hated it. "Deanna! Get a move on! You'll be late!" John yelled. "5 minutes!" Dean told him,refused to acknowledge the fact that John had called him Deanna. With the scissors from the First aid kit, he cut his hair off, clean off, closely trimmed, or as best he could. It looked so much better. Dean put the scissors away, got out of the bathroom and... was met by his dad. Dean took a sudden interest in studying his own feet. "Deanna Winchester. We talked about this." John said, voice stern. "I-I know." Dean whispered. "You're a girl! You will never be anything else!" John yelled, and Dean bolted out the door. "Deanna!" John kept yelling, but Dean ran. Ran to school, which offered no sanctuary for him. None at all. He adjusted his backpack, ignored the laughing girls from his math class and kept walking."Nice haircut Deanna! Got stuck in the lawnmower today?!" One of them shouted. "Fuck you." Dean muttered. Dean tried playing it off, but the words cut deeper than ever. Fuck them. Fuck all of them. Of course, math simply had to be the first period. Just his luck. Dean sat at the far back of the classroom, not paying any attention. Role call was something he dreaded. The teacher What's-her-name asked a name Dean didn't quite hear. Again, some laughs from the bullies of the class. Dean heard them laugh at what the hell kind of name that was? "Here." A voice from in front of Dean replied. A mess of black hair and a trench coat, was all Dean could see from here. Until the boy turned his head, and Dean found himself staring into a pair of beautiful blue eyes. "Deanna Winchester?" Jerk teacher asked and Dean snapped out of his daze. "It's Dean." He said. "Deanna is your birthname, I don't care what you want to be called young lady." She said. Dean got up, and got out of there, damning the consequences. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Gender Dysphoria, Death mention, suicide thoughts, self misgendering.

Dean wasn't sure on where he'd go. Home? No. He knew that John'd be there, for sure. School? No. That hell was full of judgemental idiots, who couldn't accept him for who he was. Somehow, he found himself in a school bathroom. Looking back at the stranger in the mirror, with a face that wasn't his, green eyes framed in by dark lashes. To him, it just looked too fucking feminine. He wanted Deanna to fuck off, leave him alone damnit! Let him be Dean. "My name is Dean" He said at the mirror, and hit Deanna square in the face, causing "Her" to shatter into a million small pieces of glass. "If only it was that easy to be rid of it all." Dean muttered,looking at the next mirror. The second he shattered that, some guy just had to walk in. "Oh... um... sorry." He stuttered, and Dean glared at him. "Get. Out." Dean hissed. The guy backed out of there, and Dean could have sworn the kid was running. "Why the hell was I born a girl?! What did I ever do to deserve this damn shit?!" Dean was screaming that over and over, screaming himself hoarse, not giving a damn if someone heard. If someone heard, they didn't care. The ace bandages cut into his sides now, and it hurt.  _I can't breathe..._ He realized.  _Let me die in this bathroom, see if they care then. I will never be anything else but a girl who tries to be a guy. I will never be happy. Just... let it all end. I don't want to be here. Or at least... let Dad accept me as his son. Please. If someone can hear me, if there's someone out there who cares, let me fit in for once. Is that too much to ask? No one tells the other guys "I will refer to you by Deanna 'cause I feel like it." Why do they do that to me?_ Dean thought, held a sharp shard of glass in his hand, and slid down against the wall, closed his eyes and cried. All his anger had gone away, to be replaced by a sense of... hopelessness. Dean thought of Sam, the only person in this freaking world who he loved. Everyone else could go to hell. Dean looked up as someone entered. "Go..." He muttered, his voice hoarse, throat raw, and eyes tinted red, stupid tears running down his cheeks. Someone sat by him. "I said go." He muttered, louder this time. "Are you okay?" The voice asked. "Yeah. Just peachy. Why? You gonna laugh at me?" Dean asked and wiped the tears away with his sleeve. "No. I've had my fair share of laughs." The guy said. "Don't see why someone'd laugh at you." Dean replied. It was true. The guy had messy black hair, eyes that were blue enough to give a clear lake a run for its money. 

Handsome, in a way. The trenchcoat seemed very out of place, with the dress pants, a backwards tie, and a white buttonup shirt. However, Handsome trenchcoat guy quickly lost the trenchcoat, handing it to Dean. "Here." Was all he said. Dean took it, put it on as if it could protect him from the world. It couldn't but it was actually quite comforting. "Thanks... uh..." Dean mumbled. "Castiel. And you're Dean, right?" Castiel asked. Dean just looked at him, confused. "Uh, yeah, but most people around here call me Deanna. I hate it. So stick to Dean..." Dean said,pulled the coat tighter around himself, and looked at Castiel. "Why would they insist on calling you Deanna?" Castiel asked. "I'm... transgender. So school thinks I'm a girl, but I'm not." Dean said. "Oh. I understand." Castiel replied. "You do?" Dean asked, not used to people understanding. "Yes. Your body looks female, but you feel male, and you are male." Castiel said. Dean felt like he could fly right there. Finally. Someone who got it. "Can I call you Cas?" Dean asked. "Sure." Cas replied. "Thanks Cas." Dean whispered. "Care to stay here all day?" Dean continued, and Cas nodded. 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean leaned back against the bathroom wall and sighed. "Look at us huh? Two losers spending their school day in a school bathroom." Dean said. "Losers?" Cas tilted his head, and looked at Dean. "We're weird, the losers that everyone laughs at." Dean mumbled. "I'd hardly call us losers, I think you're kind of nice." Cas said,still looking at Dean. "What?" Dean looked up at Cas. Cas looked at the shattered mirror. "Did you do that?" He asked. Dean nodded. "Yeah." "Why?" Cas asked. Dean looked away. "I... uh... I wanted to." Dean muttered, suddenly feeling the pain in his knuckles. Blood. "Are you alright?" Cas looked worried. "Peachy. Just fucking peachy. I look great don't I?" Dean wasn't expecting the nod.

"Honestly? You look like a strong person Dean. A fighter. But I believe that sometimes even a fighter can need help. Like now." 

Those words caught Dean off guard. He wasn't strong. Strong people didn't break down. Cas slowly, gently reached for his bleeding hand. Dean let him take it, let the guy help him up. Carefully, Cas picked the glass shards out of the wounds, threw them in the sink, got a paper towel and washed the blood of Dean's hand. Gentle. Careful. Caring. "Why are you doing this?" Dean asked. "I care about people. I do not like seeing people hurting." Came the answer. "I... am not suffering. I just... have normal teenage issues. You know, school and shit." Dean said without lying. "Don't we all?" Cas said. "Yeah but it's not only school." "Then what is it?" Cas asked. "Gender. I'm trans. I was assigned female at birth. But I am a boy. Just like you." Dean said, with a sigh. "Dean. I like that name. It suits you." Cas said. "Thanks dude" Dean said, then got up from the floor, just as everyone else piled out of the school as the day was over. Dean looked over at Cas, reluctantly handing the trenchcoat over. Cas got up, and left. Like Dean was nothing. That night, back at a crappy motel room, Dean couldn't sleep, the weight of "Deanna" hurting like a knife being shoved into his chest, never quite enough to kill.. but to hurt him as he slowly bled out. Except no one could see he was dying. Not John, the son of a bitch.. Hell, not even Bobby knew, who sometimes felt more like his father than John ever did. Dean buried his face in the pillow, and sighed. Slowly, he got out of bed, and into the bathroom. Allowing himself to let all his feelings spill out. Not caring if Sam or John heard him crying. Just to make sure, he turned both the faucet and the shower on, drowning out any noise he made. 

* * *

 

He wasn't sure how long it'd been. Luckily Sam was still sleeping. John however was gone. The car was gone too. Dean felt a relief build inside him. Sam never asked, just accepted. 

Dean laid back down and fell asleep, for once not dreaming anything.


End file.
